During my lifetime to date I have formed and fostered constructive relationships with many people. When I reflect on the reasons why these relationships have been so positive I have concluded that two essential ingredients were involved:
- Mutual respect – and this respect was displayed by each person to the other.
- Kindness – and acts of kindness were performed by each person for the other.
And that’s it. I firmly believe that if people are concerned about forming and nurturing positive and rewarding relationships with others then simply concentrate on achieving mutual respect and exchanges of kindness whenever you connect with them.
If instead you are motivated to form positive connections with other people by self interest (e.g. because you want to sell them something or you want something from them), I can guarantee you that you will fail to do so. This is why so many salespeople fail to be effective in their roles – they concentrate so intently on driving a sale (to serve their own interests) that the customer is quickly put-off wanting to engage with them.
In a senior management role that I fulfilled during 2016 I spent some of my time in that role teaching store managers the importance of letting customers make their own choices as much as possible, and for store personnel to be more focused on striking and upholding a positive conversation with customers on topics unrelated to the products/ services on offer, versus trying to steer the conversation towards making a sale. People (particularly Kiwis) enjoy connecting in a genuine and positive way with other people – they don’t enjoy feeling like they’re being manipulated to buy something. Help people to make decisions only if/ as/ when they approach you for help/ advice…otherwise allow people maximum scope/ opportunity for them to make their own decisions. This is all about respecting the other person’s independence and right to make their own choices.