Following a ‘Branding’ lecture at the Eastern Institute of Technology today two students wanted to discuss a range of “life philosophies” that are proven to cause strong people relationships to develop. I felt at the time that the inspiration for this discussion was perhaps our guest presenter who did a sterling job today of presenting the “brand” dimensions of New Zealand Home Loans.
At the end of this presentation I complimented the presenter’s open, honest and matter-of-fact communication style, which I considered was a major strength of this person and was therefore a major contributing factor to the success of his Hawke’s Bay based business and the ‘New Zealand Home Loans’ brand. I summarised to attending students as follows…
Personal integrity is intrinsically linked to the integrity of a brand. A high level of personal integrity will typically translate into a well-respected/ regarded business brand.
Students learned today that when we perceive someone to be truthful and authentic in their communications we then tend to assign greater trust to and belief in their messages/ wisdom. And with the relevant person showing these traits consistently, trust will steadily build and the relationship will grow stronger.
So then (after class) the discussion between myself and the two students referred to earlier switched to focus on “perception”, “reality” and “truth”. And it is was then that I drew these students’ attention to the fact that “the truth” actually resides in everyone. Everyone has a “truth” and a “reality” and no individual’s “truth” or “reality” is superior or inferior to that of another person. How is this so ? Simply by virtue of the fact that like everything processed by the human brain our “perception” of the truth/ reality is in fact our valid truth/ reality; and because each human being is equipped with a unique set of senses and brain our perception of everything in life (including “the truth” and “reality”) must necessarily differ from individual to individual.
When it comes to work output (e.g. group challenges in class and formal assessments/ assignments) I guide students to think in terms of (and communicate) not only “what” their perceptions are, but “why” their perceptions are as the are. For when we validate (substantiate) our perceptions with evidence, this is the strongest (most powerful/ influential) perception we can communicate to others. It is also our greatest truth that we can share.
So when someone next offers their opinion/ perception to you, gauge its validity by asking the communicator the simple question of “why” have they said what they have said. This process also helps to build understanding and new knowledge.
Finally, because at the end of the day we only have our perceptions to exchange with people, this is why it is so important to question/ address/ constructively challenge “ideas” (i.e. perceptions) rather than people (i.e. the communicator of an idea). Failure to do so will inevitably result in unnecessary conflict.
We advance/ strengthen relationships by focusing conversation/ communication on “ideas”, and dilute (and even damage) relationships by focusing on the communicator. If you want to turn a situation into a political one, then focus exchanges on the communicator. Whereas if you instead want to be concerned with resolving an issue/ problem first and foremost, then focus exchanges on “ideas”.