It continues to amuse and bemuse me, as to the ongoing tendency for many people to avoid/ deflect/ reject/ ignore the offered perceptions/ opinions/ experience/ help of others. Increasingly I see this pattern intensifying in relation to the inter-generational exchange of knowledge and ideas.
During 2017 I experienced a stand-out piece of work produced by one of the students who I was teaching at the Eastern Institute of Technology. Such was the depth of perception and level of creativity behind this particular piece of work that I decided to have this student present their work to the CEO of the Hawke’s Bay Chamber of Commerce. Why ? Because the themes that ran through this piece of work had come from a mind that was aware of the growing divide between people generally – the growing incidence of dysfunctional relationships, and of particular note the distancing/ isolation of older people in society.
Yesterday during a catch-up with my Mum (now in her 70’s), she spoke at length of her concern that a good number of older people in the retirement village that she lives within rarely receive visits from their younger family members; so the opportunity for sharing ideas/ thoughts/ knowledge/ wisdom between generations is foregone.
I see the consequences of this reduced tendency for people of differing ages to converse inter-generationally being dire for society at large. Why ? Mainly because younger generations are avoiding benefiting from hearing from their older relatives as to what measures/ approaches/ ethos/ values their older relatives have found benefited them during their lives; in order to then at least consider adopting/ adapting at least some of this acquired knowledge/ wisdom to help them in their own lives. Equally, older people often have the benefit of considerable hindsight, and can therefore share those decisions/ actions that they made/ took in their lives which they perhaps regret – again, knowledge/ insights that are invaluable for younger people to have in order to potentially avoid the same pitfalls/ consequences.
I believe that a major contributing factor of the high level of business failure in many countries is actually due to “close-mindedness” – an unwillingness to seek and receive the constructive input of other people who have walked a similar path in their lives (and who therefore are well-positioned to provide practical assistance/ guidance). When we believe that we have acquired all of the knowledge/ wisdom/ information that we need to be self-contained in steering our life’s course and/ or in guiding the direction of the organisation that we own/ manage/ provide governance in relation to; that is the point that our ego has in fact overshadowed our good judgement and outward focus on life. It is in fact at this point that we stop growing/ maturing and start retracting into ourselves – fueling our ego further.
The two most influential people in my life are my mother and my grandmother (who will turn 100 years of age in 2020). I rate these two phenomenal people as being among the wisest people in my life. I never stop learning from them – their respective life experiences are so rich in teachings…teachings that help me form perspectives and shape my own life, and which help me help others in their lives.
Older people are rich in life experiences, and tend to be more open in sharing their knowledge/ perspectives/ wisdom to unconditionally benefit those who care to listen to them (i.e. they expect nothing in return for their time/ energy expended sharing something of themselves).
My plea to particularly younger people is take the time to be with your older relatives/ friends – to invite their stories to come forward and to encourage them to share their experiences/ knowledge/ wisdom with you. You will be the richer for it, and you just never know – you may just avoid repeating the same mistakes that your older family member/ friend made along their life’s path.
More than anything, these acts of engaging with your older relatives should prove to foster closer ties with these family members/ friends, and they will receive a greater sense of feeling valued and included in your life.
I once worked alongside a broadminded, mature CEO who shared with me one day this wonderful expression…”I try and learn something from every person who I connect with“. I implore more people to adopt this open-minded attitude in respect of their relationships with others.