I had an interesting experience with my son today. Increasingly, now that he is nearly 13 years old, my wife and I are pushing Sam to share some of the workload of looking after certain tasks/ chores (that are within his growing capability) around our home/ property.
A new skill that Sam is acquiring is that of cutting kindling (firewood). He’s learning how to split wood using a tomahawk. Today he became very frustrated cutting the kindling we need for the week ahead – especially when the wood he was trying to cut wouldn’t stay standing upright, to the point that he started to say things like “I’m hopeless at doing this” and “I give up”…and tears of frustration welled-up in his eyes.
I could have let him give-up…and walk away from his task. However, I didn’t. Instead, I asked him to calm down and pick-up the tomahawk to try again, this time balancing pieces of wood that had uneven bottoms with a supporting small wedge of wood – causing the piece of wood that he wanted to cut into kindling to stay standing upright so he could cut it. The key was to demonstrate this process adjustment to Sam and encourage him to have another go, before he got underway again. Result: the balance of kindling that he was expected to cut happened without any more fuss…and he cheered-up as he became successively better at cutting kindling using a practice that removed his frustration.
Moral of the story ? Don’t give-up…don’t let other people give-up on themselves…and don’t give-up on other people – especially when others who you are leading are struggling to come to grips with a new skill/ piece of knowledge/ practice. Do what it takes to keep people’s hearts in the game… raise their spirits and help them “get back in the saddle”. What separates great leaders from good leaders is that great leaders do not give-up on the people who they leading/ guiding.
It is so important not to give-up on helping other people, and to (as a leader) somehow – even when you feel your own energy decline – summons the strength and determination to keep finding ways to lift people up…to help them on their chosen life’s course and to help them to realise their potential.