As we grow-up we are often told liberating advice such “be yourself”, “dare to be different”…and “don’t worry about what other people think about you”. Then suddenly – as we turn the corner into adulthood – we find out the sharp reality of human life; that many people seem to have made it their life goal to “standardize” the human race and put everyone in the same little boxes of expected conformity to make them behave in the same way…or else !
I can cite you many examples of organisations that attempt this dictatorial pursuit, organisations that most people trust to act objectively and maturely in their best interests, yet truthfully are more concerned about making sure that everyone fits nicely into the same little boxes to suit their own legacy ambitions.
It’s interesting attending kids’ sports these days as a parent wanting to show your support to your child (and their team) as the game unfolds in front of you. It’s like someone has spread a viral message through the internet cautioning parents not to show any excitement and to curtail their excitement at all costs…or else ! I sat with other proud parents cheering our kids on in their hockey game yesterday. Every time one of the kids in our team did something special on the field we rejoiced quite loudly (yet not to the point of being annoying to others around us) and spurred our team on to “keep up the great work”, etc. Well, you should have seen the looks of surprise and judgement that were cast upon us by parents who were situated a short distance from us…looks of “surely you can control yourselves better than that” and “hey don’t get too excited now”…etc.
I turned to the other parents who I was seated next to and simply said…”be yourselves and enjoy the game”.
Do you see the common theme emerging here ? i.e. the pressure of conformity.
There’s quite a few of us (particularly in the 35 years and older age band) out there who have grown rather tired of other people trying to put us into their little boxes. And from conversations that I’ve struck with a number of adults recently, I can see that this sentiment is a growing trend. For example, it was so uplifting to find out from some parents who I shared watching the hockey game with yesterday that many schools have woken-up to the unravelling of kids’ competitive spirit that went on when a massive whirlwind of political correctness washed through New Zealand during the past few years. During that era (and for some people they’re still living in it) kids were receiving certificates simply because they got out of bed and made it to their Saturday sports game…despite how they performed during the game (i.e. the mentality of “to participate is good enough” ruled supreme). Utter nuts ! Well I’m pleased to say that I’ve seen some strong evidence that strongly suggests that a good chunk of New Zealand has turned the corner and is returning to supporting the ethos of “play hard, play fair and play to win”. Wow, thank God for this change of heart.
My advice to those people sitting with little boxes of the same size and colour in front of them just dying to pop everyone else in their boxes is…stop trying, because we don’t fit and we don’t want to fit…we’re all different with different and varying strengths and weaknesses – and we happily celebrate these differences between us; and we don’t want to become “standardised” like some block of cheese.
Does this mean that we’re “law breakers” ? No. Does this mean that we’re arrogant ? No. Does this mean that we think we have all the answers in life ? No. Do we deliberately set out to be controversial and create conflict ? No. But what it most certainly does mean is that our intensive passion and curiosity for challenging the status quo, driving change and finding new fertile ground for prosperity – motivated by our choice not submit to other people’s “standardising” expectations plus our quest to succeed – has led us to achieve at high levels..
I recently worked alongside one of New Zealand’s most dynamic and high achieving entrepreneurs. This person had a dynamo that must have been charged by the rushing waters of the great Waikato River, for her energy, focus and delivery was exceptional…a real “wow” person ! When I committed to taking on the role to work alongside her, I was concerned that two dynamos could result in some sort of explosion. I needn’t have been so concerned about our forces joining, for within the first week this person was actually celebrating the disruption that I was bringing to the business. And there I was thinking I was turning the business on its ear beyond the comfort of the owner. The result ? Together we opened more doors of opportunity and created more forward momentum during the first month of engagement than I had managed to open/ create during a 6 month stint in a previous CEO role. This business owner absolutely not only new how to challenge the status quo of her business…but she whole-heartedly embraced and celebrated it. A most remarkable human being.
In my lifetime the most successful people have been those who have been prepared to push boundaries to explore the possibility of finding new opportunities. So I implore people around the world to show a bit of courage/ confidence, constructively challenge the status quo of environments around you and dare to have and share an opinion that may or may not be aligned to the opinions of other people. Be yourself and strive to be the best person that you’re capable of being according to your expectations…not the expectations of other people. Play hard, be disruptive to invoke change for the better, play fair…and above all play to win.